Greetings to all Full Circle friends and members,
In the September edition of our newsletter we have:
As we did after 9/11, we ask “How are you folks doing?” and offer practical advice and help. Our thoughts go out to all those affected by Hurricane Katrina, and all those who are trying to help.
Donating Funds & Supplies:
If you would like to help those people and animals suffering from the effects of hurricane Katrina the Staff at Full Circle recommend sending donations to these organizations:
Officers of Avalon: This is a nonprofit organization composed of Pagan police officers, fire fighters, and EMTs. They are collecting funds for those who have lost their homes and livelihood in New Orleans. All monies they receive will be forwarded to charity organizations that helping to provide emergency aid to the survivors of these natural catastrophes. They have already raised over $6,000 in funds for Katrina relief efforts. 100% of all funds collected will be given to relief charities in the name of Pagans everywhere.
United Animal Nations – Emergency Response Teams: Thousands of animals are now lost, homeless, injured, trapped, and starving. UAN is coordinating response efforts with several other organizations that are providing animal disaster relief - including the ASPCA, the International Fund for Animal Welfare (IFAW), Colorado-based Code 3 Associates, the Humane Society of the United States, American Humane, and Best Friends Animal Society.
UAN has alerted all of their 2,300 trained EARS volunteers, and already more than 1,100 people are responding. They are not funded by the government but by private contributions, and they need our support.
The Witches’ Voice: The Witches' Voice, Inc. will donate 100% of all sponsorship payments received (both new and renewals) from September 1st. thru Samhain (Oct. 31st.) 2005 to emergency services providing aid for the victims of hurricane Katrina. They willdetailall monies received and checks released on a weekly basis. Your donation is 100% tax deductible
The Red Cross: An interfaith nonprofit agency with a proven track record which uses their money wisely.
How Are You Folks Doing?
· Practical suggestions for dealing with the recent hurricanes.
· Disaster Handouts & Links: Begun after 9/11 and consistently updated, this site includes many links for helping children and families.
· Sesame Street Page: Tragic Times, Helping Words. Advice on helping children cope & PSA’s for parents.
· Information on Past Traumatic Stress and how Hurricane Katrina is affecting those caught in its aftermath, as well as those watching, worrying, and grieving at home. It also has disaster fact sheets, fact sheets for survivors and medical personnel, and further information on how you can help.
Inspiration & Hope:
· Op-Ed: Honoring Labors of the Heart. Excerpt: As we begin the almost unimaginable task of helping, healing and rebuilding lives in the deadly wake of Hurricane Katrina, we should remember that as with all catastrophes that scar our land volunteers will lead the way…But the most remarkable thing about this “Army of Hope” is that most of them are working without any compensation.
· This second article looks at the hardships these willing volunteers will face. Excerpt: About 50 new and aspiring volunteers stuffed themselves and their ideals into a room Thursday night at the chapter's offices in downtown Palo Alto and listened, hard, to what they might encounter. The veteran volunteers talked about the 13 hardship scenarios contained in the DSHR (Disaster Services Human Resources) System Handbook. "For Katrina, every hardship code is being applied except C5 -- extreme cold.”
Disaster Preparedness:
Are you ready?
Red Cross – Make a plan.
FEMA – A page for kids and a pamphlet for adults
Red Cross Disaster Preparedness & Response – Information for seniors, people with disabilities, people with pets, children, and schools.
Department of Homeland Security: Useful list of emergency supplies and other information.
Coping with Grief:
Dr. Weil’s website states:
Most of us will experience periods of grief at some point in our lives. These lows can be due to the death of a loved one, having to give up something or someone we care deeply for, or experiencing a difficult decision that may produce anger or sadness. In addition to its impact on our state of mind, grief can impair immune function and negatively affect your health. It is important that you make an effort to take care of yourself at those times, to get some exercise daily and to eat healthy, balanced meals. When grief becomes overwhelming, the best thing to do is seek grief counseling, which can help you work through the pain, and find acceptance and meaning in your experience. Spiritual counseling can also be helpful, as can some medications; discuss these choices with your physician. For more information on health and grief, go here.
From the Center for Living with Dying: Here are two helpful articles you can download (acrobat reader required – the download is free) from the Center for Living with Dying. They also offer a reading list.
How the Internet is Helping:
Meanwhile, the Wired Magazine notes that Craig’s list and other Internet sites are helping people caught in Katrina’s wake a variety of ways.
The Red Cross & Red Crescent have jointly announced Family Linking programs to help families find each other.
Calling Home:
While most cell phones are down, Globalstar, a company based in Milpitas, CA, is helping people connect via their satellite phones, as they did during the Tsunami and other global disasters. Excerpt: Milpitas handheld-satellite-phone provider Globalstar said Friday that the company had shipped about 5,000 satellite phone handsets to aid relief workers and families throughout the hurricane-damaged South to accommodate growing demand from relief agencies and residents. They have donated over 100 to help communication on the ground between agencies. Business Week asks: Will this change the way phone carriers operate in future?
The Breath of Fall
The first breezes of autumn are blowing in the early morning and pine needles are pattering down to become a rust-colored carpet upon the garden pathways. Those who celebrate Mabon will be preparing for this second harvest festival. Although cooler weather won’t reach all of us for several weeks, our thoughts turn to the rich colored food palette of autumn and to time-consuming crafts that eluded us through the summer months. Catch a falling leaf and ride it into the season calling us out of the sun.
What if you went to get a book you were lusting after, and it wasn’t there to get? Banned Book Week falls in September, read up to protect your right to read what you like! Among books often deemed contentious, of course, is the Harry Potter series, and now the author herself is getting a few hits from other authors. No less popular a writer than Terry Pratchett has words for the journalist who interviewed J.K. Rowling about fantasy fiction, and he isn’t just jealous of her success. On topics more esoteric for the industrious reader, new tomes on time and History are reviewed. A “Book of Marvels” awaits to enlighten, and you may follow the trail of time through horology. And in a bit of history revisited, the infamous “Hammer of Witches” is revived; one has to wonder why in this day and age.
Arts and crafts
Autumnal colors of a personal nature would make a fine transition into the year’s darkening: You can wear the colors of the darkening skies, or the russets of the falling leaves; explore woad, indigo, and henna body art. For others, who like to place colors in more easily removable fashion—fabrics, take a look at some vintage work to personalize your look from masks to parasols.
All about spiritual things
Pagan Ministry: Cherry Hill Seminary, a professional Pagan ministry program, proudly announces its Fall 2005 course offerings. Basing its philosophy on sacred connections and community building, Cherry Hill Seminary’s thought-provoking courses serve the rapidly growing Pagan community.
Students in online classes should have a basic understanding of their computers and online use. Please check the tech needs page for suggested hardware, software, and capabilities before you register.
The chill of autumn may creep in on fog’s “little cat feet”, but not alone: Colder, darker weather brings more than influenza to worry about; mental ailments are often worsened with the seasons’ changing. Self-management applies to more than the physical, and the ability to take oneself in hand may be related to marshmallows? Ronald Gross has an engrossing test (couldn’t resist the pun!) to show you why. What about after the worst has happened? Fighting back after a devastating event revitalizes more than mental health as Keith Littles tells you. Addictions beckon with the darkening year and life-stressors, beat the siren-call using your spirituality advantageously. And if memories too dire to share well up, clear the mental air and share the secret and read those already told.
Was the world really believed flat or is that a modern myth: Carolyn Moynihan pops that belief bubble with her insightful commentary. Mathematical precepts that affect more than grade cards may have to do with the worldview both past and present; linking geometry to our brain patterns and mystic apprehension of reality puts fingers in every pie from Kant to Thomas Jefferson. Even an old liberal arts sort can get into why we should look again at this bit of math history! Digging up a Goddess can create as many questions as answers, as workers in Znepole found. Who is this Lady and does this Golden Wreath belong to her? And I do not have an axe to grind, but could this find be the reason your editor, Labrys, feels like something the dog dug up?
the Care and Feeding of The Goddess of Liberty
What challenges will a new Supreme Support Justice face in view of the complex issues roiling the American society? Is there is a scorecard on the issues? Pagans are taking more interest in politics, as the wall between Church and State trembles, after all voters come in all faiths. Activists come in all faiths, too, and from all walks of life, including acting. Susan Sarandon is one who believes in the potency of the power of one. And though all of us can’t have her star-power, perhaps the venerable pagan tradition of humor and satire can be marshaled against closed minds: the Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster wants to talk creation theology with the Kansas School Board.
Creating community
Would you like things ‘really simple’ for once on the web? Well, here it is, delivered up like sushi on a conveyor belt! Pagan communities often reach out through the Internet, being the only outreach accessible to many in small towns and on college campuses where one is far from normal social situations. If ‘webspace’ is an ethereal place, computer clutter on the desk is far from it, but a cure to complexity is coming for techophobes and technophiles alike. Alas, as soon as one problem is solved, another presents: photo-phone ethics is reaching beyond sending the image to your web-mates.
Fall ushers in the “season of meaning” for me, a less active and more searchingly introspective time. Reading time grows as seeding and weeding time drops, and new words blossom instead of flowers. Curiosity about word origins, peculiar expressions can carry you through fall storms to new destinations in knowledge. So whether you explore the alphabet in depth, or want to play at medieval LARP games to enliven longer evenings, enjoy the glow of fall.
We have hundreds of events listed on our California Community Calendar.
Here is just a handful:
Sept. 10 (Saturday): Broceliande performs music of summer and fall.
Sept. 17 (Saturday): Music of the Harvest and Autumn
Sept. 23 (Friday) Fall Equinox: Shifting our consciousness into balance
For lucky travelers abroad in Europe this fall: Goddess Conversations in Florence, Italy take place in October.
New events are added every day. Click on the Full Circle California Community Calendar to access the list. If you want your event listed, please go to our calendar page and click on the link that says “Submit Event.” The on-line form is simple and very easy to use. Questions? Please contact our Networking Coordinator ScoutGhost at scoutghst@sbcglobal.net.
PART ii - HEALTHy
PAGAN GROUPS & INDIVIDUALS
IT’S A MYSTERY:
Part II: HEALTHY GROUPS & INDIVIDUALS
Healthy Pagans* The Lost Children * Difficult People As Gifts *
Learners * * Emotional Intelligence * Solitaries & Mystics *
When Healthy Pagans Work in Smaller Groups & Circles * Not the Momma!
Hiding in Plain Sight: Doing Good in the Dominant Culture *
Functional Pagan Organizations: Yes, Virginia, They Do Exist * *
The Guru Trap * * A Little Soup Couldn’t Hurt *
How Organizers Cope Today * Finding & Training Volunteers *
What “Pagan Doers” Are Doing Now * 21st Century Pagans *
What are Witches For? * EarthWise Ethics *
Healthier, Happier Pagans: How Ever Did They Get That Way? *
A Guy Falls Into a Hole * Who Does She Think She Is?
Endnotes * * Bibliography * My Friend Sia
HEALTHY PAGANS:
The people I consider successful are so because of
how they handle their responsibilities to other people,
how they approach the future; people who have a full sense
of the value of their life and what they want to do with it.
- Ralph Fiennes
In 2003 I wrote a two part series of articles titled The Shadow Knows and The Bard and the Poser. The Shadow Knows deals with metaphysical teaching through positive and negative archetypes. (1) Part I of It’s a Mystery linked to this article because it asks a very common question, which is:
“What are the lessons that go beyond Level One of Pagan practice, and how can we find these classes?”
My answer is this:
Life itself offers us these classes. In a Trickster-like fashion, it offers us the test first and the lesson afterward….The challenge here involves claiming our power, living responsibly and accepting the consequences of our choices. All great teachers teach the 3 C's; that is: Consciousness - Choices - Cause & Effect.
If you have not yet read this essay, please do so now.
When I finished The Shadow Knows, I began work on a companion piece titled the Bard and the Poser. B&P was written to compare healthy and unhealthy Pagan archetypes in terms of behavior and perception.
I would like to emphasis a very healing and humanizing mystery. It’s this: When dealing with positive & negative energy no one works wholly out of one or the other; we each have full access to both aspects and to all the elements within. Which energy and elements we choose to use in any given situation is up to us.
Since we are discussing healthy Pagans in Part II of this essay, I will ask everyone to read The Bard and the Poser before proceeding further. (2)
THE LOST CHILDREN:
My father says that almost the whole world is asleep.
Everybody you know. Everybody you see. Everybody you talk to.
He says that only a few people are awake, and
they live in a state of constant, total amazement
- from Joe and the Volcano
One question that often comes up among Pagans is this: We know that everyone has baggage and that every group has their share of dysfunctional people, but why do Pagan groups have so darn many of them?
I have two answers to that. First, there are a lot more happy, functional Pagans out there than we realize. (I’ll discuss this point more fully later on in this essay.) Secondly, we Pagans pride ourselves, quite rightly, on being inclusive, and any path which teaches tolerance and acceptance is going to attract a wide range of people at various stages of health, including those my colleague Ashli refers to as The Lost Children.
The problem is not that we are accepting, the problem is that many Pagans haven’t yet learned that accepting an individual and accepting bad behavior from that individual are two different things. It’s important to know that we can love the one, and not put up with the other. This also requires that our teachers, organizers, and circle leaders work to establish healthy boundaries and standards, something that many of us don’t know how to do, or fear doing.
Here is another mystery: The Lost Children are not a “Them”, they are Us, and we are a very mixed bag. (3) The Lost Children are a part of that tribe of Outsiders I mentioned earlier. Outsiders are a group that includes most of the great writers, artists, leaders, scientists, and thinkers in human history. They are those who don’t “fit” into their culture’s rigid little mold.
An Outsider may be hiding in plain sight. They may look like a part of the dominant culture, but they do not think the same thoughts, nor are they caught up in the cultural trance. Conversely, they may be someone living a very alternative lifestyle in a very public way. However they appear, Outsiders are those who question both authority and learned helplessness.
Among the Outsiders, the Lost Children in particular are looking for a place to call home. Many have been rejected by other groups, religions, or scenes, and then they come here, looking for acceptance. As Ashli points out, the situation in modern Paganism is not so much that of a round peg trying to fit into a square hole, it is more like a variety of shapes coming into a place where shape doesn’t matter at all. That’s fine as far as it goes, but it becomes a problem for us when no standards of conduct are ever applied, no matter how healthy or necessary these might be.
I say this with deep sadness: Our culture has failed our Lost Children. Their parents have failed them. The schools have failed them, their peers have failed them, and, Goddess help us, we have failed them. They come to us, looking for meaning and True Tribe and what do we give them? Poses and platitudes. They come to us with a hole in their soul because they are lacking the unconditional love, guidance, and stability they deserved but never got as children, and we give them Witch Wars and yet more dysfunction. Very often they will try to fill this hole with alcohol, drugs, unhappy sexual encounters, food, and whatever else comes to hand, and we offer them no understanding of what the hole really is or how to heal it. They come to us seeking acceptance and a safe place to practice their path, and we allow predators and abusers into their circles. Some day, we will answer for this.
The Lost Children are often so because they were raised with either too little healthy parenting or far too much harsh discipline by adults who were deeply unhappy themselves. Sometimes they fear to grow up because they believe it means becoming like “them”. Sometimes they grew up far too fast and have no experience of joy, play or wonder.
The Lost Children are not lost because they are somehow bad or wrong. They are lost because they were never valued as they deserved, or because they never got the guidance they needed or because they were abused or because they had to try and cope with mental, physical, emotional or spiritual challenges all on their own. They come to us, instinctively knowing that Paganism holds healing at it’s core, and when we don’t help them they can morph from being Lost Children to Problem Children in a heartbeat.
A Pagan gal named Tree wrote this to me just recently:
I've been torn about recommitting to the Goddess and the Earth, because I thought I'd be lonely… A couple of weeks ago I was wandering around despondently thinking, "Where on Earth am I going to find Pagans who want do the tough work of growing up?”
What do the Lost Children really need? They need support as they walk a very challenging path. They need trustworthy companions, and connection. The Lost Childen need to be around joyous, free, spiritually mature human beings, who are comfortable with their power and compassionate in their wisdom. They need to be around creative people who are in touch with play, wonder, healthy sexuality, and the divine; people who also know how to work hard, honor their word, and pay the rent. We Pagans claim to honor the divine, wherever we find it, however we understand it. We claim to respect what is sacred, both within and without. In teaching this, we must also teach our people to honor others as they wish to be honored themselves. We must consciously model for our students and circle members what it looks like to be in touch with our Best Selves and the God/ess within. This requires an emotional, mental, and spiritual evolution on the part of all here. It’s not easy, but nothing less will do.
DIFFICULT PEOPLE AS GIFTS:
I would now like to share another mystery. It is this: Life will send us teachers for a particular lesson and they will often take the form of difficult people, people who do not really matter to us in the greater scheme of things. These people are sent as a lesson so that we have that wisdom we need later on, when it really counts. For example, we will often be offered a lesson about trust in our teens and twenties, so that we don’t make stupid, jealous mistakes down the road with a cherished partner. Alternatively, and this is key, if we have not learned a lesson when it was offered to us, we might not have that wisdom available to us when we need it the most.
This mystery has a second part: Life will also send us people who will model what healthy behavior looks like, and we can choose to learn some of our lessons by watching and knowing them. Sometimes these people will be sent to us; sometimes we need to seek them out. The readiness is all.
LEARNERS:
In a time of drastic change, it is the learners who inherit the future.
The learned find themselves equipped to live in a world
which no longer exists. - Eric Hoffer
Healthy Pagans are learners. They learn (have learned and are learning) the lessons that life offers us. But there is yet another mystery to this experience, it is this: Life will offer us these lessons again and again.
If we choose to learn these lessons at the first level, then we move on with new wisdom, power, and strength. (4) If we choose not to learn a particular lesson the first time, then life will offer us the lesson again and again, making it harder on us each time until at last we either learn the lesson or life drops a house on our head. In some cases, such as alcohol or drug abuse, the end of the lesson can be a painful death. In other cases, the lesson could include the loss of friends, jobs, resources, and relationships. As I said in The Shadow Knows:
If we choose to make right choices, the Laws of Cause and Effect and the Laws of Energy and Attraction will support our healthy sides. If we allow our Shadow archetypes to make our choices, then we choose to learn our lessons through them.
We all have lessons to learn. The difference between a happy, functional Pagan and a less healthy Pagan is:
1. Whether we choose to learn the lesson in its positive or its negative form,
2. How long it takes us to learn a particular lesson,
3. Whether we choose to ever learn a lesson at all.
4. The compassion we show, both to others, and ourselves as we walk this path of learning.
As I said, we learn on many levels. This is a very complex subject, covered by a wealth of good books, so I will try and be brief. To wit: there are several basic levels on which we learn.
1. The Tribal level.
Tribal lessons are those lessons passed on by our culture, our belief system, and our family. The tribe teaches us what we “should” do and how they want us to do it. It teaches what we should value and who. As you can imagine, many of these lessons are dysfunctional. As Carolyn Myss notes, the tribe is in place to teach us lessons about vengeance and honor and the tribe is most concerned with group behavior. The tribe is not concerned with our personal happiness or enlightenment. Its teachings are about law and custom, cause and effect. These teachings are meant to insure the survival of the tribe as a whole.
2. The Individual Level:
When we begin to question what our culture, faith, school, or family has taught we are on the road to learning at the individual level. Self-Actualized human beings do this sort of learning all their lives. They also question what their friends and peers believe. It’s important to remember that tribe will usually not reward us for this kind of questioning.
When we work on
the Individual level, we decide our own rules of conduct, based on values that
we alone have identified as being important or crucial to us as
individuals. We walk a path that may fall well within the tribal code,
but we are on that path by our sole choice, not because we are afraid of
expulsion from the Tribe. If our path takes outside that prescribed by the
tribal code, we accept the consequences, attempt to change the tribal code or
(in the case of people like Gandhi, the Suffragettes, and Marten Luther King)
we do both.
3. The Archetypal Level:
Archetypes are patterns of influence, both ancient and modern. Through them, we see the larger patterns of life. When we say that life is puzzling, we acknowledge a series of patterns we perceive but have not yet put together in ways that make sense to us. Thinking archetypally helps us put the pieces together in order to view the whole. It also helps us to access power and ways of being not directly modeled by our tribe.
When we think archetypally, we see that there are larger patterns to relationships and between individuals and in our own psyche. We see that these larger patterns are visible within many different cultures and traditions and across time. We choose to look beneath the surface of this culture, to the meaning beneath, and we seek to find the greater meaning and the lessons in our own lives, and to respect this search in others. As a result we grow in both wisdom and compassion.
4. The Perception of Unity:
When we work at this level we look at the relationship between the patterns and begin to perceive the binding unity of the universal energy. We seek to connect to that energy and to honor the sacred as we understand it.
A writer I admire sent me a note recently on the subject of creativity. What she says here can be applied to many different aspects in our lives:
It is at the Individual Level that originality and creativity begin to appear in one's life, but they don't take wing until one's creativity is informed and infused by the Archetypal Level. Creativity becomes a permanent part of the Great Library of Human Richness, when it is infused still further by the Level of Unity.
I never met anyone who lives at the level of unity all the time, although I’ve met some people who have access to it more often then most. For the rest of us, it takes the form of occasional transcendence or euphonies.
EMOTIONAL INTILLIGENCE:
Be happy. It is a way of being wise
- Colette
I spent ten years of my career working in an academic library. During that time I met a great many PhD’s, and lots of published experts, great thinkers and fine creative talents in a wide variety of fields and I can tell you this: A lot of smart people are really, really dumb when it comes to coping with real life and having people skills.
This brings us to another mystery: There are lots of different kinds of smart. There is book smart, but there is also people smart, and intuition and creativity and business savvy and people with green thumbs or a special way with animals or kids, and people with common sense and people who are inspiring leaders, and people who think ahead, and people who can sell just about anything to anyone. There are people who make music, and people who are good in disasters and people who can “talk” to machines, and people who really know how to listen when you’re upset, and on and on and on. But the very best smart of all, is what is known as “emotional intelligence” because that is the kind of smart that helps us be happy. For this reason,I recommend a very wise book titled “Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ by Daniel Goldman. Goldman defines emotional intelligence in terms of self-awareness, altruism, personal motivation, empathy, and the ability to love and be loved by friends, partners, and family members. He argues “people who possess high emotional intelligence are the people who truly succeed in work as well as play, building flourishing careers and lasting, meaningful relationships.”
Readers may also wish to look at this very useful EI website, which has some information on dealing with anger, depression, disappointment, empathy, fear, guilt, resentment, respect, understanding and the various other emotions. The EI Consortium also has useful information on emotional intelligence in organizations and in the workplace.
SOLITARIES & MYSTICS:
“Be vwery, vwery qwiet…. I’m hunting rwabbits!”
– Elmer Fudd
At this point, you may be asking, If Paganism is so empowering, then where are all the healthy folks?” Well, frankly, many of them are in hiding, and not just from the religious bigots. In some cases, they are actively avoiding other Pagans. Often as not, they practice their spiritual path in a solitary fashion.
There have always been Solitaries among us, and there always will be. It’s important to note that this is an authentic and viable path, especially for those of us who are mystics. I say this because all mystical religious or spiritual paths require a high level of individual maturity. Mystics connect directly with the sacred in order to experience the divine, both within and without. They cannot do this work if emotional garbage is blocking their spiritual path. They cannot do this work if they lack honor. To quote Rowan Fairgrove’s insightful saying, “If your word is no good in this world, then it is no good between the worlds.” The Solitary Path, to put it mildly, is not a practice for people in denial.
Solitary Pagans tend to be quiet, individualistic types. They are often introverted, strong-minded, and very self-sufficient. These people are usually not “joiners”, so it’s not possible to count them accurately, but lately, their numbers appear to be growing. (5)
More and more often the Solitary Way is chosen by those who have no desire to mix with the dysfunctional behavior they find in so many Pagan groups. If they choose to perform a ritual with others, it is usually for a special occasion and done with a very small, carefully selected group of people. A Pagan gal named Raven wrote this to me just recently:
“I have semi-retired from working with other Pagans, outside of a few individuals and my writing. I found the drama, posturing, gossip, and hate mongering that goes on in public groups tiring, and never ending. I also saw a trend: When there were individuals in the community who had some kind of life outside of the tiny local Pagan fish pond (careers, kids, homes, bill-paying and contributing to other causes) this tended to bring out jealousy.”
Whether such Solitaries will ever come out to play with us again is anyone’s guess. But if they do come, they will surely do it on their own terms. If we wish to attract more healthy Pagans to our events (Solitary or otherwise), we’d better have something meaningful to offer them.
This is not to say that all the healthy Pagans are in hiding or that all Solitaries are healthy. In fact, there are good number of healthy Pagan circles, functional organizations, and great community groups out there. The trick is to find them.
WHEN HEALTHY PAGANS WORK IN SMALLER GROUPS & CIRCLES:
Healthy smaller covens, circles, and ritual groups do exist, and they do great work. To understand these groups, it helps to remember the old saying that “Birds of a feather flock together.” To put it another way, emotionally healthy Pagans will seek out and circle with other healthy Pagans. Here we have yet another mystery: It works like this: If one Pagan in a dysfunctional group should choose to become healthier, they will soon find that they no longer fit in with that group’s energy. Alternatively, should a less healthy Pagan enter a healthy group, they can easily make the entire group unstable. It is a sad fact that healthy people do not tend to make an unhealthy person better, rather one dysfunctional person can make an entire group, office or circle codependent and crazed. This is why self actualized Pagans (or those on the road to being so) tend to be ever so careful when they choose circle members, lovers, students, or friends.
We may discover (or be in) a group which is healthy, patient, knowledgeable, supportive, and empowering. Such groups do exist, but like anything of value, they can be hard to find and there is a price to pay. They will demand that we work hard. They will expect us to have good boundaries, manners, ethics, some perspective, a sense of gratitude, and a sense of humor about ourselves. They won’t lie to us and they won’t accept excuses. If we choose to lie to ourselves or about someone else, they will call us on it. If we drop the ball, we will hear about it. Such groups know that if our life is out of order, our practice isn’t going to be to too good, either, and they will encourage us to grow. (They can do this because they are walking the same healing path, themselves, and they know quite a bit of the road.) Finally, they will require that we do the three things that form the solid foundation for any type of spiritual practice: Show up, pay attention and tell the truth.
NOT THE MAMMA!:
It's all very well calling for eye of newt,
but do you mean Common, Spotted or Great Crested?
- Terry Pratchett
-
My friend Sage is a wonderful Pagan teacher. We had lunch the other day and in a middle of a conversation on ritual energy she said, “I’m not building a social group for my students, this is a teaching coven.” Fair enough. As I said before, not everyone is true tribe for us. Teachers like Sage should not feel obliged to create a new spiritual family every time they take on a new set of students. I would add that we don’t have to become friends with everyone in our circle or even mingle socially at all, if we don’t wish to.
If a group’s mandate is purely for study, ritual, politics or charity work (in other words, if it is goal or action oriented as opposed to community oriented) then we might want to be very clear about that. If we set our emotional boundaries at the start, and keep them maintained, then we will not raise any false expectations for deeper relationships later on. In such as case, we can be friendly colleagues and seekers, and no other ties can (or should) bind us.
I would also recommend that teachers who do not wish to create connection outside the ritual circle could offer their students guidelines on how to find or create a healthy Pagan community when their training is complete. There are some Pagan teachers (me included) who include some “self help” titles along with their Pagan book list in order to facilitate this process.
Whatever our relationship with others in circle, we need to play nice, set boundaries and communicate our expectations, goals and standards.
HIDING IN PLAIN SIGHT: PAGANS DOING GOOD IN THE DOMINANT CULTURE:
There are many Pagan people who avoid the dysfunctional Pagan groups and many who are naturally solitary who still choose to work for the good of all. These folks will often choose to do their community work with mundane groups.
Some of these people choose to become active in interfaith work. Others volunteer with animal rescue efforts or environmental causes. Some choose to work with social or charity organizations (such as battered women’s shelters) or become involved in political causes (such as voter registration drives). Others choose to work with their local schools, educational foundations, or groups that support reading and the arts. Others among us have their hands full trying to raise healthy, happy, creative, free thinking children in a culture that teaches just the opposite. These folks tend to operate on the idea that they have more in common with a healthy, functional Buddhist or (gasp!) a progressive Christian than they do with the dysfunctional Pagans down the block. One community activist named DragonLady wrote this:
I work with many good Christian, Jewish, Hindu and Buddhist people within the Feminist and the Ecology movements. I see these people working at women's shelters and soup kitchens, lending a hand on coastal clean up days and volunteering in our local animal shelters and I choose to stand with anyone who does this sort of work and who respects my rights. What they do matters. What they call their deity, or whether they even have one, makes no difference to me at all.
There are positives and negatives to living in-cognito. As long as solitary, functional Pagans choose to keep their identity under wraps, their skills, example, and wisdom are lost to the larger Pagan community. However, they still serve as public examples of Pagan Pride, they just prefer to do this one-on-one, and among those co-workers and friends they trust. Happily for us, they continue to do good work and we all benefit from this. We refer to them as The Great Hearts. May the Goddess bless and keep them.
FUNCTIONAL PAGAN ORGANIZATIONS – YES, VIRGINIA, THEY DO EXIST:
Functional Pagan organizations, (both large and small) face a unique set of challenges. In the last 12 years I’ve worked (and become acquainted) with several Pagan groups which truly empower people. Ironically, they do this so well, that often the core staff work with them for a year or two, learn what they needed to learn, gain new powers, confidence, experience and friends, and then go on to fulfill their personal dreams. This leaves the Mother Group with an immense sense of satisfaction, fulfillment, and pride and the problem of replacing really good, hard working people. Such people do not grow on trees. But they are out there. I know this because I’ve had the privilege of working these last five years with some of our best very and brightest.
In Part I of “It’s A Mystery” I said this:
“Some exceptions to this lack of any real Pagan community can be found among a small number of well-run Pagan festivals, groups and events, often as not, among the dedicated volunteers. These folks tend to be funny, tough minded survivors, the kind of people you’ll also find working in a MASH unit or teaching kids or working in the theatre; you’ll find them pretty much any place that requires both practical talent and true grit.”
(For further information on this subject, read Professor Sarah Pike’s insightful anthropological study titled People of the Earth.)
If we want real community and we have something to offer, then now is the time to step up. I recommend that volunteers do their homework and find a group that a) supports what they care and about and b) is functional, well organized and fair minded. A volunteer should come prepared to play well with others and be willing to follow through on their commitments. If you are interested in becoming either a Pagan Organizer or a volunteer, I recommend reading my essay titled “Pagan Doers: How To Get Things Done”.
For the sake of this discussion, I will point out some key points contained in Pagan Doers.
· Over time, we've found others who share the vision and, equally important, they are people who share our work ethic….We always knew in our hearts that responsible Pagans were out there and they've proved that to us.
· Flaky people are everywhere, not just in the Pagan community. Alas, they are often the most charming and enthusiastic people we encounter.
· Some people come to us and want to give us their power. To this we say "Thanks, but no thanks". None of us want to be Gurus. We believe that being Pagan means accepting responsibility for yourself, your actions and for the quality of your life. We believe that it means claiming your own power and not giving it over to someone else. Ideally, it also means that you use your power to better the world you live in. That's what Pagan Doers do.
· Not everyone has healthy tools placed in their Life’s Toolbox during childhood. Some of us have to add them in as adults. I know many Pagans who can claim to have 50 books on ritual techniques in their library but they don't own a single book on conflict resolution. I believe that this is one reason why so many Pagan groups don't last. So, I ask our people to read books on subjects such as Active Listening, Positive Confrontation, Codependency & Dysfunctional Family Systems, Group Dynamics, Stress & Anger Management & Effective Management Techniques.
· When we do use a title such as "Leader" we have a Wyrd way of defining it. A "Leader" at Full Circle is the one you see doing the donkeywork. This comes as a shock to some people. We've had folks approach us who want to have all the "fun" of leading, that is, they want to pick and choose all the interesting tasks for themselves and they want to have other people do the dull and boring jobs. Other types think that leading means telling other people what to do and doing nothing at all themselves. Here at Full Circle we think differently. We think that being in charge of something means that you do the most work of anyone in your group. It means you're the first one to arrive and the last one to leave. You do whatever needs doing. If that means you clean the toilets before an event, then so be it. Don't laugh, I've done that. The closest I've ever gotten to holding a Staff of Office is that toilet brush.
Here at Full Circle we have always insisted on things like accountability, responsibility, and kindness. We also have a wicked sense of humor and a collective bit of life wisdom. Using these, we were able to support one another (sometimes as friends, sometimes as colleagues, often as both) through some very rough times. (6) Are we perfect? Gods, no! Have there been tensions or disagreements among us? Well, sure, we’re only human. But we do our best to work out any conflicts with honestly and respect. We also believe in empowering others, and in sharing responsibility so our more experienced staff members often act as mentors to the new folks. This means that the work we do at Full Circle is mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually challenging.
We’ve been lucky because we tend to attract people who are willing to do their emotional homework, and who recognize the need for healthy boundaries. This wasn’t easy, and in some cases it took us ten years of going to various Pagan events for us to find each other. I should also note that by the end of 2004, the staff was profoundly tired from five years of active service here at FCE. Last year, I choose to use my winter meditations to do some inner work and discover what was next for us. These essays (specifically the section coming up titled “What Pagan Doers Are Doing Now”) come out of these meditations.
HOW ORGANIZERS COPE TODAY:
Those of us who teach, organize, run open Circles, lead workshops, and host festivals must cope with the dysfunctional Pagans among us, whether we like it or not. They aren’t very hard to recognize. While functional people are willing to share, learn, grow, and give back, dysfunctional people use this path as an excuse to act out and show off. They won’t volunteer for much, but they are quick to criticize the work of others. Or, if they do volunteer, they go from group to group to group; making a royal hash out of anything they touch. (7) Their first thought always seems to be “What’s in it for me?”. But a functional Pagan will ask, “What are Witches’ for?”. In the case of people like the Great Hearts, people who care about more than just themselves, their next question will usually be “How can I help?”.
FINDING VOLUNTEERS:
In the last 25 years, I’ve worked with several different non-profit groups, including my own. I’ve also spent time working behind the scenes at a number of different conventions, meets, and community projects, some of which I’ve also directed or planned. Based on this experience, I can say that reliable, committed volunteers are hard to come by even in good times. In times of tragedy, such as 9/11 or the Indonesian tsunami or Hurricane Katrina, people tend to come together for comfort and support. They will give their time, money, or supplies to the charities that directly address the disaster. This means that they often give a little less to their usual charities, such as the Humane Society. Bad economic times offer a different challenge. When money is tight, prices are high, and jobs are scarce, most people tend to circle the wagons and take care of their own. Charitable giving plummets across the board and volunteers are even harder to find. It’s not just Pagans who have this problem. Since 9/11 and the economic downturn, non-profit groups throughout the U.S. are hurting for both funds and volunteers.
Over the years, we at FCE have been blessed with a wonderful group of Regular Volunteers (people we know and trust, who will show up and do a great job on the day in question) and what we call “Organizing Volunteers”. Organizing Volunteers are the Holy Grail of non-profit organizations. Only one person out of a hundred has the life experience, as well as the desire, commitment, people skills, and time available to chair a committee effectively, let alone serve as Director and/or Council members. Oh, these people are out there, believe me, but those who can, do, and those who are doing are often overbooked. So when you find these folks, cherish them, and try not to burn them out from overwork. (You may actually have to tell them “no” when they want to take on more projects, projects you know will be the last straw to their camel’s back. You may even have to take a task away from them, and give it to someone else, if you perceive that they are overloaded. It’s not easy, but it’s part of your job). The care and feeding of such magickal creatures is a principal focus for effective Pagan Organizers. (8)
Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes.
Art is knowing which ones to keep.
-Scott Adams
Those of us who are Pagan organizers, volunteers and teachers have a responsibility to model healthy behavior like showing up on time, or doing what we say we will do. We also need to understand the use of Builders and Barriersin relationships, in order to be the most effective in our work.
For more on this subject, please read Pagan Doers.
WHAT “PAGAN DOERS” ARE DOING NOW:
As Fritz Jung has noted, many Pagans who have worked in the community for years are pulling back. Some are resting, some regrouping. Others look for guidance or make plans. Some wait for the right time to begin new projects. It looks like the end of an era, a period when certain energy called on us to get out there and be proud Pagans in public. Many of us heeded the call to build something meaningful. In some cases we Pagans have succeeded in our goals, and in other cases we missed the mark. As one wise Witch said to me recently, "It's as if the Goddess tried an experiment, and then, for her own reasons, decided it's finished". It's my belief that Paganism has been used to create a tipping point for change in Western culture in much the same way that feminism has done. Now that these EarthWise ideas are out there, and available to those in the mainstream, I believe it's time for us to move forward in ways that work best for us. These are difficult times, and we must proceed with caution and remember to rest when we need it.
We must be willing to get rid of the life we've planned,
so as to have the life that is waiting for us. - Joseph Campbell
If you follow current events you know that Momma Gaia needs our ethics
desperately. I believe that what we
Pagans have to offer the world will be valued by our culture(s) someday. Mark Modford wrote an article for the San
Francisco Chronicle just recently about the spiritual tipping point he sees
coming. In Come
All Ye Faithful he said:
Spiritual self-determination among the intelligent and the educated and the independent- minded in this country is nothing new….But something feels different now. There is this palpable sea change. There is this deep simmering electrical pulse. There is the return of the divine feminine, the flip of the cosmic coin, what the mystics and the seers call the Great Awakening, happening within the next decade or so (for those who are ready).
Is our time really coming or is this just the calm before a great and terrible storm? Whatever happens, we’ll need to be ready. Soon after 9/11 I wrote an article titled Kuan Yin and the Year of the Snake. In there I discussed a mystery I’d been taught about change and direction:
And every time I've needed to be shaken up, whether it is spiritually, emotionally, or physically; that has happened. I moved forward in the direction that seems right to me and often, I hit a wall. I wailed at the wall. I resented the wall. I complained bitterly and at length about the wall. “I never deserved this!", I cried. (Just between you and me, I sometimes did). Then a friend and teacher said this to me, "You'll always know which direction the universe wants you to take because it will stop you with a wall to get your attention. When you hit that wall, turn left.” And so I do.
Based the issues that confront us on so many fronts these days, my colleagues, and I have chosen to make some left turns. Nowadays,
In the meantime:
We don’t obsess on what should be or what might have been. We focus on what is and what can be accomplished now, with the means we have at hand. Finally, we ask ourselves three very important questions:
What matters?
What works?
What’s next?
THE GURU TRAP:
All I want is a warm bed, a kind word, and unlimited power.
While it is pleasant to be admired, those of us who teach or act as mentors are constantly at risk for becoming “Gurus” to some of students. Healthy Pagan teachers require respect and commitment from their students, not unquestioning obedience, and they avoid the Guru Trap like the plague. They do this for many reasons, including self-preservation. Here are three of the main reasons why wise teachers, circle leaders, and organizers try very hard to avoid this trap:
A teacher’s job is not to swan around looking mystical. Their job is to model healthy, empowered Pagan practice and to say: “I have this knowledge and these skills. I learned what I know in the following ways. You can do it, too. It’s not easy and it’s not quick, but it’s possible. Let’s get to work.”
21ST CENTURY PAGANS:
Where there’s a Witch, there’s a Way
I can’t say this too often: There are many wise people are out there, right now, doing an immense deal of good in their neighborhoods. There are also some larger, well-run groups which offer advice, training, networking, and support. Some even perform charity work and host Pagan Pride events (a pretty gutsy thing to do in these harsh times). The most hopeful thing I know about present day Paganism is that these good people are finding one another. Thanks to the Internet (and specifically, The Witches’ Voice) Pagans can share resources and contact lists for good groups, festivals, teachers, other Solitaries, and events.
Organizers also know a lot about the Problem Children, too, not to mention the abusers, divas, flakes, would be gurus, thieves, and cons who lurk among us. Most organizers keep lists based on their experiences with these people. While mere gossip is discouraged, we do share information and we will warn each other about troublemakers when we need to.
We also keep lists of what my friend Snakemoon calls, “The Ordinary Pagans”; the fun loving, hard working, talented, trustworthy folks. (9) So don’t be afraid to ask for references when you begin working with someone new and don’t hesitate to make some phone calls before you give someone responsibility, especially if a project involves working with minors.
Paganism is changing as we speak. Will we Pagans truly support each other or will we let jealousy, Witch Wars and dysfunctional modes of behavior ruin the Circle? A lot depends on how healthy our community chooses to be, and whether or not we work together and share information in responsible ways.
Pagan groups that wish to thrive in this new century can do the following:
1) Be flexible and adapt to the changing mystical, economic, political and social realities around us while keeping our core values intact.
2) Model healthy personal boundaries and group standards.
3) Practice constructive ways of handling conflict and sharing power.
4) Learn how to deal with stress, and avoid doing too much and risking “burn out”.
5) Require courteous, respectful behavior from all our members.
6) Find ways to support personal growth, health, and harmony within our group, and in the larger community.
7) Set up a system of consequences, including ouster, for those members who are abusive or untrustworthy.
8) Unite with other Pagan groups to stand against the abusers and predators among us.
9) Share information and resources with other responsible groups.
10) Practice what we preach about tolerance and abide no hate speech or bigotry among our members.